The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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