4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
