I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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