yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have feelings that need drinking.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
