I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
