I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
