hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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