So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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