my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
