I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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