There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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