and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
