I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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