I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there was a trapeze. enough said
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
