i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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