Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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