As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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