just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
