Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
