I just saw a hot homeless man
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
