Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
