and she was petting her beer can
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
