Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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