They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
as a side note pls kill me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
