Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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