We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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