So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
