You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How naked do you want me to be?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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