everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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