Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
