Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
