My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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