I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
