I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
