We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
