There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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