Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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