I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
