i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
