you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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