Your dad touched me again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
