Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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