Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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