Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
