: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
