I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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