Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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