youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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