Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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