oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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