They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
