if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
